biz: A TV ad directed me to a web site about ADHD which asked me to fill out a form—I quit halfway through and moved on permalink
Tweets from March, 2010
TechCrunch: April Fools Shenanigans, Wikipedia, Google, Oh My! - http://tcrn.ch/9wK1mx by @evelynrusli permalink
dalasv: Does this restaurant have an API? permalink
sween: Me: [Grabs wife's hand to hold while walking.]
Wife: "I hate you so much." permalink
dshanahan: Dear Canada, your hiring of gorgeous customs agents and immigration officers is starting to feel like a strategy. permalink
jimray: I used to think all I had in common with LL Cool J was physique but it turns out I’ve also never been interviewed by Sarah Palin. permalink
BestAt: RT @CroweJam: Sex with altar boys? Nun for me, thanks. permalink
mikey_m00n: I can’t leave Twitter now. It was my only justification for getting this expensive smartphone. permalink
iamnotdiddy: “What’s the moral of the story, son?"
“Don’t dine & dash.”
“No. Haven’t I taught you anything? ALWAYS TAKE A SLOW, FAT KID WITH YOU.” permalink
joeschmitt: Ricky Martin called on President Obama to create a bipartisan panel to investigate why more Americans weren’t surprised he is gay. permalink
SilkPillow: My mother shot and killed a turkey this weekend. She is 70 years old. permalink
sandwichpolice: Hulk Hogan is doing Rent-A-Center commercials. That’s even beneath *me*. Brother. permalink
ConanOBrien: I’m confused by the new census form. There’s no box for "Sickly White." permalink
sacca: If I went to the doctor right now, he would diagnose me with an acute case of bananas. permalink
mashable: The New YouTube Revealed [PICS] - http://bit.ly/cbUBqD permalink
NikiWithIssues: Making out in a closet is so 10 minutes ago. permalink
erikprice: I really hope they legalize pot soon! I’m so anxious to try that stuff! permalink
conanobrienswyf: http://twitpic.com/1c7b02 - If this is how I want to read tweets, that’s my business. permalink
bullybully32: Driving is for the birds. The birds with cars. permalink
FakeAPStylebook: Always note whether a politician is wearing a lapel pin of a flag, as they are the only way to display patriotism. permalink
abigvictory: My garlic bagel keeps all the boys from the yard. permalink
jimchuck: it’s oddly relieving to know that for now, I can pack my life into a 5×7 storage space permalink
theacerbic1: you know work is boring and repetetive when even your trained monkey begins the head-meet-desk manuever permalink
tehawesome: Elevators are like coffee pots. Always go with your freshest option, and avoid the ones filled with hobo urine. permalink
everydaydude: My signature dance move is reserved only for that special occasion when you accidentally pull your headphone cord halfway out of your iPod. permalink
baileygenine: It’s shocking to know that after 9 years, a world-renowned Doctor still hasn’t figured out a way to make a ho a housewife. permalink
Miss_Cook: Sir, the"HOTLIPS" license plate isn’t what made me question your sexuality. But your legs do look really nice in that skirt and heels. permalink
magnetbox: Just for a minute, can we all do the bump? permalink
MikeyADHD: DIVORCE IS WHEN YOUR MOM AND DAD WANT TO BUY YOU TWICE AS MANY TOYS. permalink
sacca: I drink caffeine only in those rare situations where I need to take it from a 10 to an 11. Unrelated: clutching a double mocha. #gameon permalink
lukeinvan: Fact: Your mom is not allergic to nuts. permalink
badbanana: After 20 years in advertising, my body has grown dependent on PowerPoint to fall asleep. permalink
sucittaM: Face down. Ass up. That’s the way I covertly sexually harass my yoga instructor. permalink
davegorum: Joe liked to debunk Snapple facts during lunch.
R.I.P. Joe. permalink
InSoOutSo: These Olympic mittens are starting to smell. Did Oprah say we can take them off? permalink
Boner_Stabone: What’s the big deal? Ricky Martin has been colliding large hard-ons for years.
See that? I made yesterday’s topic relevant today. permalink
outsidemagazine: Is an Everest climb technical? @alan_arnette has your answer. http://bit.ly/9mRxR5 #climbing #everest permalink
nerdist: An Swiss orgy of subnuclear particles erupt as the LHC ejaculates proton beams deep into its chamber: http://afx.cc/lhc permalink
RickAfterDark: Cervix issues? There’s a Pap for that. permalink
cheeky_geeky: Great example of a high-end place using @foursquare: Zola in DC offers deals to Mayor, people who visit 5X, and people who visit 2X. Smart. permalink
