thebenbrooks: HIM: "I had this great drink last night! It was made with watermelon and…"
ME: "The remains of your manhood?" permalink
Top tweets from February 14th, 2010
BillMc7: I’m treating her to Red Lobster, and then taking her home to try and get her to taste MY chowder. Yes, ladies, I know, I’m pretty terrific. permalink
Thaozilla: It’s Valentine’s Day and I’m feeling romantic. Making edible underwear out of these bacon strips. permalink
biorhythmist: Just ordered a virgin mimosa because what am I some kind of comedian according to this annoyed waitress. permalink
Thaozilla: I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Valentine’s Day. He answered for my husband to die. permalink
jasonpermenter: Here, I got you a dozen roses for Valentine’s Day but then I dipped them in liquid nitrogen and smashed them on the table because SCIENCE. permalink
iamnotdiddy: Valentines Day: where millions wonder if their Twitter crush is a 400 lb registered sex offender or robot from the future sent to kill them. permalink
bestgirlbetty: I like to have my sex and eat it, too. permalink
roughdiction: I’m all fuckin’ romantic and shit. permalink
jasonpermenter: Anna doesn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day, which is great for me because flowers and love are stupid she’s standing right behind me isn’t she. permalink
awryone: Well, that didn’t work.
Anybody need 1000 custom candy hearts saying "Threesome?" permalink
badbanana: Valentine’s Day is simply a Hallmark tax on the married. permalink
Tony_D: My swear jar has more money in it than my IRA. Shit. permalink
lafix: Turns out I didn’t exactly understand "double down".
Also turns out the guys at this table prefer my interpretation. permalink
MrBigFists: God. I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect. permalink
roughdiction: If she doesn’t improve her attitude, she won’t be getting any anal tonight. permalink
bestgirlbetty: I hope my Valentine has a fetish for chicks in hoodies watching how candy is made on the History Channel. permalink
dens: Great article on evolution of Olympic mogul skiing (J.Moseley ‘98, ‘02) & what we’ll see this year w/ ski & snowboard. http://bit.ly/MadTrix permalink
rww: Cartoon: Valentine’s Day http://bit.ly/b3KUXk permalink
badbanana: Except the rifle shooting is too violent. I’d like to see cross-country skiing combined with solving a nice Sudoku. permalink
badbanana: I’m biathlon-curious. permalink
Miss604: New Post: Vancouver 2010 Spectator Tips - http://bit.ly/da6nN7 #van2010 permalink
badbanana: Valentine’s Day is simply a Hallmark tax on the married. permalink
